Game addiction is a headache for parents!

Finding ways to break the barriers between parents and children

 
In today's AI-powered age, children's connection to the internet is more intense than ever. Computer games, social media, and short videos have become the primary communication platforms for young people. However, parents often struggle with why their children are glued to their devices the moment they sit down. They worry about their children's grades and are perplexed by the decline in conversation at home. This can even lead to a disconnect, a lack of listening, and ultimately, a breakdown in relationships.

Recent studies have shown that gaming addiction has become a globally recognized mental health issue. The World Health Organization (WHO) officially included "Gaming Disorder" in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11), effective January 2022. This classification recognizes that excessive gaming can lead to impairment in personal, family, social, and academic functioning. According to relevant guidelines, gaming addiction must persist for at least 12 consecutive months and demonstrate significant symptoms such as difficulty controlling oneself and a lack of balance in life to be considered clinically classified as an addiction.

Locally, video game addiction among children and adolescents in Hong Kong is a cause for concern. A 2022 survey conducted by teams from the Chinese University of Hong Kong, City University of Hong Kong, and various primary and secondary schools revealed that approximately 12.6% of Hong Kong students surveyed showed signs of online gaming addiction, with some individuals reported playing for as long as 60 hours straight. Furthermore, over 30% of students reported binge-playing for over five hours, while 42% reported watching videos for over five hours straight. A 2017 study by the University of Hong Kong also revealed that 13.9% of male students surveyed played video games for over 21 hours per week, and that as many as a quarter of students were frequently exposed to violent games, a finding clearly associated with addiction.

These results reflect that, both internationally and locally, teenagers' addiction to the Internet and games has become a serious phenomenon that society needs to address, and it does pose serious challenges to parent-child relationships and physical and mental health.

Expert Dialogue: Ten Key Questions and Answers to Solve the Problem

To explore this inevitable challenge of our century, we've invited Ben Wong, founder of Encyclopedia Consulting, a veteran training design consultant, current President of the Victoria Harbour Rotary Club, and a father of a child with special needs. Drawing on over two decades of professional experience and personal parenting insights, he will share tips on how to rebuild parent-child relationships and address the real issues behind internet addiction through "gaming tips" and parental role definition.

These facts demonstrate that gaming addiction isn't simply a matter of "playing more online," but rather involves multiple crises within the physiological, psychological, and family systems. So, how can we break down these barriers? How can we reestablish positive echo bonding and effective communication in parent-child relationships?

Q1: Is it important for parents to have computer knowledge?

How to guide children to choose how to use computer products ?

Ben Sir: It's extremely important. Nowadays, children's lives are largely entwined with online platforms. Parents who only cling to stereotypes like "the internet is dangerous" and "gaming is addictive" will struggle to connect with their children. For children, the internet and video games are not just entertainment; they are also primary venues for discovery, exploration, connecting with friends, and self-expression. Overly resisting or even completely ignorant parents will only exacerbate trust gaps. Parents don't need to be IT experts; at least they should understand game types, basic operations, the structure of social platforms, and the distribution of learning resources. Discussing game content with children and understanding their perspectives on different software can help guide them toward wise, respectful choices, rather than simply imposing limits or prohibitions.

Q2: How do you allocate your time?

How to tell whether children are "playing games" or "studying"?

Ben Sir: Parents often ask: How do we set limits on gaming time and monitor it? Ideally, gaming time shouldn't be about monitoring, but about collaboration. Both parties can try to agree on a "balanced schedule" during the week and weekends—when to do homework, when to exercise, and how much time to leave for "fun" and family time. Importantly, most learning methods have already been gamified, such as using gaming platforms for programming and YouTube for teaching through fun animations. Parents should be involved, not only by identifying the content their children are exposed to online but also by interacting with them, which means arranging time for gaming together. Sometimes, what appears to be "gaming" actually fosters teamwork and strategic thinking; parents and children can even explore interests and develop future skills together through gaming.

Q3: How to transform "gaming addiction" into education + entertainment?

Ben Sir: Education and entertainment aren't necessarily mutually exclusive. Edutainment (the integration of education and entertainment) is believed to be the most sustainable learning model today. Online electronic games are inherently good or bad; the key lies in their design and purpose. Work with your children to select games that are both inspiring and stimulate creative thinking, transforming "play" from a waste of time into learning and growth. When parents are happy to be invited to play with their children, they become companions rather than external observers! This breaks down the binary thinking of "schoolwork = drudgery, entertainment = fun" and allows children to actively seek knowledge and inspiration in the digital world.

Q4: Parents face a dilemma: should they be strict or indulgent?

Ben Sir: I use the "rubber band theory" to explain this: if a rubber band is stretched too tight, it will break; if it's stretched too loose, it will lose its tension. When it comes to children's use of the internet and games, parents should understand the importance of "holding back and letting go. " While rules are necessary, a healthy dose of "letting go" allows children to experience autonomy and understand that freedom and responsibility coexist. The key is building mutual trust, not just a set of rules. Parents can review their children's behavior together—offering ample encouragement when they follow the rules and being forthright about the consequences when they break them, replacing conflict with collaboration.

Q5: How to cultivate children’s sense of responsibility?

Ben Sir: Trust is the starting point. Parents need to believe that their children have inherent self-regulation abilities. Gradually let go, allowing them to participate in setting rules and bear the consequences. For example, let children design their own weekly games and study schedules, with gentle guidance from parents. Provide specific affirmation when they meet the rules; let them understand the consequences when they fail. Following the rules is far more effective than strict control and can foster self-discipline and a sense of responsibility in the long run.

Q6: The role of parents: Is it better to be a strict "tiger parent" or a "companion"?

Ben Sir: Parents are no longer the traditional role of "controllers" or "commanders." Life's journey can only be accompanied, not shunned. New-age parents must transform into companions and partners. Excessive force destroys echo bonding—it loses emotional resonance and empathy, leaving communication reduced to instructions and criticism. Over time, the relationship between parents and children is filled with pressure, not understanding. A lack of emotional resonance between parents and children ultimately leads to a dead end and even a breakup.

Q7: How to truly break the parent-child gap?

Ben Sir: Only an open mind can build bridges. Don't get stuck on binary oppositions like "play or not play video games"; instead, try to enter their world. For example, ask questions like, "What's special about this game?", "Who's your favorite character?", "Why does everyone in the class play this game?"—questions that stem from curiosity, not interrogation. Parents may initially feel out of place when they try to immerse themselves in their children's online gaming world, but in the long run, this can create a common ground for dialogue. What a child might be trying to share is perhaps their desire for achievement, the building of friendships, or their experiences overcoming obstacles. By extending the conversation from gaming to other life topics, uncovering their inner motivations, communication channels will naturally open up.

Q8: How to “break into the children’s circle” and learn their language?

Ben Sir: You need to learn your children's lingo, even the names of their clubs and the celebrity players they care about. You can proactively join them for a meal, an esports show, or a school event. When parents can freely chat with their children about gaming, puzzle-solving experiences, and interesting esports anecdotes... that's when the parental role shifts from a disciplinarian to a trusted ally. Children will secretly rejoice, thinking, "My world, even Mom and Dad understand!"—this is a child's strongest source of support and security.

Q9: If a child falls into the virtual world,

How can parents help them return to reality?

Ben Sir: There's no need for a hard-line separation. An effective approach is to contrast reality with fiction. For example, if a child excels in a game group and overcomes challenges, parents can use this opportunity to connect it to real-life experiences, such as school activities or sports competitions, to help their child transform that sense of accomplishment. Encourage children to apply the lessons learned from games, such as organizing and coping with setbacks, to school and home. Help them understand that the real world also offers challenges, adventures, and fun, and that these experiences are more meaningful than imaginary scores.

Q10: How should parents continue to learn and progress with their children?

Ben Sir: "There's no generational gap, only stagnant learning." Parents should proactively participate in parenting classes, read about parenting psychology, and exchange experiences with other parents. Parents who are willing to continuously learn not only better understand their children but also set an example, making growth a shared journey for the entire family. When parents view companionship as a learning experience and difficulties as opportunities, the parent-child relationship will be stronger, and even the greatest gaps can be bridged.

"Nature Play - Parents Study Together Around the Fire"

With this in mind, we've created a new resource called "Nature Play - Parents Learning Together." Targeting parents of the AI generation, we integrate psychology, education, and parenting practices to provide comprehensive support:

- Multiple parent workshops: emotional management, motivation enhancement, parent-child communication and conflict resolution, etc., to enhance parents' skills and mindset in responding to their children's growth needs

- Design the most appropriate "learning plan" for children/parents based on age/growth needs

- One-on-one developmental counseling sessions with psychologists

We don't rely on traditional one-way indoctrination, but rather create a collaborative learning environment for the whole family. We transform professional knowledge into practical skills, allowing parents to put them into practice and guide their children towards a healthy future.

Remembering the "echo connection" will help parents and children to maintain a harmonious relationship.

While gaming addiction may superficially be a "technology issue," it fundamentally reflects a "relationship problem" between parents and children. Pure prohibitions or indifferent regulation will only sever the echo bond between parents and children. The true solution lies in proactively entering children's inner worlds, understanding their motivations, struggles, and joys—opening up dialogue and rebuilding trust. This allows parents and children to resonate seamlessly, even across generations.

Companionship, understanding, trust, and shared growth—these are the only keys to bridging the generation gap and rebuilding close parent-child relationships. May all parents, with courage and an open mind, navigate the digital flood hand in hand with their children, embracing a future without barriers.

For more information on nature play activities, please visit our various media links: https://linktr.ee/natureplayhk

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